Prevention is the responsibility of every adult living in our community. Parents, teachers, coaches, doctors and neighbors – everyone engaging with children has a role in making sure that children lead happy, healthy lives free from abuse.
It Only Takes a Minute…
..To make a child smile
..To listen
..To say “good job”
..To distract an angry parent
..To brighten a child’s day with a kind act
..To make a difference in the life of a child
Child Abuse Prevention Month materials are available by sending an email to Kristen.lowrey@sdcounty.ca.gov. Quantities are limited.
There are many ways that each of us can help all children not just during April, but each and every day to nurture, honor and help them grow into healthy, happy adults.
As a parent
While people may disagree about the “right” way to raise children, no one disagrees that parenting is hard work. Sometimes, parents wish their children came with instruction manuals. They don’t, but here are some quick tips to help make the job a little easier and help your child in the process.
Understand that discipline and punishment are not the same. Discipline means teaching a child appropriate behaviors and how to manage his own behavior.
Learn about how children grow and mature and have realistic expectations for your child at different stages. Your toddler can’t plan ahead, can’t wait, can’t remember, can’t stop saying “No!” He’s not being bad; he’s being a toddler.
Thinkabout what’s causing your child to be fussy or uncooperative. Address the cause before responding to the behavior. Chances are, a nap, snack or diaper change may be in order.
Avoid potential problems by making your house childproof and by redirecting your child’s attention when she is doing something you do not want her to do.
Tellyour child DO rules rather than DON’T rules.
Praise your child. He needs to know when he does something right, not just when he does something wrong.
Offer your child choices to take the pressure out of your request and give her a sense of control, making her more likely to comply. This is great for toddlers to teens.
Ensure your child knows what is expected of him. Go over the rules ahead of time and make sure the rules are reasonable for your child’s age.
Correct your child’s inappropriate behaviors in a non-physical, non-demeaning way. Hurting a child, making a child feel worthless or withdrawing affection because a child made a mistake is never OK.
Use timeouts – sitting a child down in a safe but boring place for no more than the same number of minutes as the child’s age – as a way of interrupting an unwanted behavior.
Make the correction fit the situation whenever possible – crayon drawings on your wall? Have the little artist help you clean them up, remind her what she’s supposed to draw on and make the crayons off limits for the day.
Take away a privilege (like talking on the phone, watching TV or playing computer or video games) for a set period of time as a consequence for inappropriate behavior.
Listen to your child when they are talking to you. Get them to talk to you by asking them about their interests, hobbies, favorite toys, shows or books. Ask their opinions on things. You’ll learn who they are and they’ll feel valued.
Realize that you aren’t the only one who’s ever gotten angry or embarrassed by their children’s behavior in public. But all eyes really aren’t on you, even though it feels that way. People just don’t pay much attention when it’s someone else’s child misbehaving.
Improve public outings with your child. Time outings when your child feels his best. Tell him the rules before you go. Practice at home first (pretend to be shopping, going to get a haircut, eating at a restaurant). Praise correct behavior
Spendquality time with your child. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Make and eat a snack together, sit and play with them on the floor, work on puzzle, go for a walk, watch a video, read a book.
Promote healthy competition by keeping in mind that playing sports is supposed to be a way for kids to have fun, make friends and be physically active. Taking it too seriously can ruin it for everyone.
Hugyour child, tell them you love them and show them you love them every day. If there is one universal truth about parenting, it’s that children need to know they are loved.
Takea breather. When you feel you are getting too upset with your child, stop. Cool down by taking deep breaths and counting to 10, listening to music, reading a magazine, splashing your face with water, doing some stretching.
Get help if life begins to overwhelm you. Don’t take it all on yourself and don’t take it out on your child. Talk to someone. Call a helpline. Seek counseling. Take a parenting class.
Give yourself a break. Take a little time off for yourself or for you and your significant other. Leave the kids with a sitter and go to the beach, to the park, for a walk, out to dinner, to a movie. Just get away for a while.
Click on the following buttons for printable parenting fliers
As an adult
Ensuring the safety and happiness of our children is every adult’s responsibility, whether they are a parent or not. Here are some ways all adults can help children.
Give someone else a break. Offer to baby-sit for parents you know so they can have some time for themselves.
Calm a tense situation. Use sympathy with an upset parent. “It can be hard to eat out with a child, can’t it?” Say something positive about the child. “He has the most beautiful eyes.” Talk to the child. “It’s tough sitting still sometimes.”
Get involved. Give of your time or money to organizations that prevent child abuse. Ask community leaders, schools and churches for services and resources to help children and parents.
Recognize the Warning Signs.The behavior of children may signal abuse or neglect long before any change in physical appearance. Some of the signs may include:
Nervousness around adults
Aggression toward adults or other children
Inability to stay awake or to concentrate for extended periods
Sudden, dramatic changes in personality or activities
Frequent or unexplained bruises or injuries
Low self-esteem
Poor hygiene
Report suspected child abuse or neglect to the San Diego Child Abuse Hotline: (858) 560-2191
Click on the following button for printable flier
Additional resources and information
There is a wealth of information available for parents and adults who want to help children. A few good resources include:
Chadwick Center for Children and Families at Rady Children’s Hospital – www.chadwickcenter.org
As a parent
